INTRODUCTION
SPOKEN WORD
Telling Tales
I'm So Bloody English
Spring Fever
Breasts and the INS
CLOWNING
Why on earth is the INS interested in the condition of my breasts?
I would love to ask them about their fascination with my private life. My sex life if you must know.
I mean I can understand some blood tests, because it’s only us damn foreigners who bring in HIV right? Or TB? I can’t understand an internal exam…or why they needed to know about what type of contraceptive I prefer. I’m surprised they didn’t ask for my favorite position! So yeah they insisted, and a gynecological exam was ordered. I’ve been thinking about that, as I am wont to do and I think it must be because they want to check up on me. Perhaps I was too active in my youth for me to be good wife material? Well there was not much that I could do except lie there and think of England, open and receptive to the doctor’s digits. What I found disturbing though was that when the doctor was inside me I remembered how long I’d been without sex…she reminded me of my last lover. When the exam was over there was some paperwork to be dealt with. We finished with a handshake. I was curious so I looked at her hands. Closely. They were strong hands. With large digits. And I thought to myself hopefully, is she queer?
But back to my breasts…why is the INS interested in the condition of my breasts? No one else is! It begs the question too, what were they going to say? ”Since we found that one nipple is larger than the other we have deemed your marriage to be invalid.”
I think not!
I’m so bloody English. I think I’m not, but I really notice it at the Waves in the women’s tub. Oh yes, it’s quite the source for secrets. In fact I find it shocking how many personal details come up in conversations as we sit there naked together.
- My boyfriend likes it when I take him from behind with the …
Why did the psychic freak out when she saw how many abortions I’ve had? I mean it was over twelve years ago and my husband doesn’t need to know does he?
I was thinking of getting my labia pierced, could I look at yours again?
At which I interrupted to recommend Jeff and Karen for their piercing shop…and then I realized I’m looking at the girl’s bits. All of a fluster I got up and dunked myself in the cold plunge…it helped. So yes I’m a married lady. Are you surprised? Why? I must admit that being married didn’t help me find a lover. You see when I took her home; there would be the family, all curious to meet the date…a little awkward to say the least.
“This is my roommate Levi; this is his boyfriend Chris, who is my husband. This is Karen, she is Chris’s older sister, who was my girlfriend for years but now she’s with someone else…and lastly this is David who was Chris’s boyfriend years ago in San Francisco.”
And then I would test them; how am I related to Levi? What is the relationship between David and you? Are you listening?
Well, truth be told I’m a divorcee! The marriage didn’t work out. As you might have guessed we had differing tastes…and if anyone is interested in my breasts come see me later!